I would be lying if I didn't admit to being completely mesmerized the first time I saw a woman perform a striptease. From the moment I could express myself, I was a performer. It seems I was always drawn to the art of harnessing creativity in an effort to deliver something poignant to an audience, but seeing a performance so blatantly driven by sexuality was nothing short of jarring. With each layer of clothing removed, a sense of innocence seemed lost and my ideas about what a woman "should be" were shattered. The art of the dance was slammed up against the politics and big ideas that were so much a part of the world around me and I couldn't deny it's power in juxtaposition. Watching the energy of the on-lookers shift as they fell captive to whatever spell the performance seemed to be casting was, in my opinion, magical. I could never, however, fully reconcile my pre-conceived notions about the countless ladies who have made this their chosen profession until I tried it....
Well, kind of...
My closest friends and I decided to take a pole dancing class at Sheila Kelley's S Factor. Bare in mind I have shared mostly all of my innermost secrets with these friends, but somehow, in comparison, nothing seemed quite this "intimate". Besides overcoming any insecurity I might have had in front of my peers, I quickly realized my biggest obstacle was going to be addressing the comfort level I had with myself. I had no idea what a far bigger battle that would turn out to be and just how vital an element that would be to this class.
The classroom was barely lit, no windows, no mirrors...wait, I am supposed to exercise like this?! Our instructor, Sue, introduced herself as an S Factor teacher who made her living as an electrical engineer. My doors were already blown off. Any stereotype I may have projected onto this pole for fitness phenomenon was immediately shut down. The simple dichotomy of an engineer teaching me to "work the pole" was off setting. Clearly, I and the 8 other "first-timers" in the room (of all shapes, sizes and colors), had to leave our preconceived notions outside the door. When it was upon us to introduce ourselves and express what brought us to this class, there seemed to be one common thread connecting us...a quest for bettering ourselves.
Sitting on purple mats spread around the room we collectively began to breathe. The lights dimmed further and music started to pour through speakers and fill the room. The sweet sounds and emotional melodies that swelled in the space seemed to seep into your skin as you felt your breath deepen and your body start to move. The movement was gradual, the stretch was slow, the warmth emanated and the muscles continued to engage as the workout progressed. The music built with momentum and your confidence seemed to follow suit. Sue's voice guided us every step of the way, teaching us not only how to move but to embrace ourselves for doing so in the integrity of our bodies in that very moment. For maybe the first time ever, we are not only given permission, but are encouraged to claim and love ourselves in not only our eroticism, but our simple feminine inhabitance. Like in a guided mediation, we sank further into the abyss of being fully in our bodies while exploring its capacity. It was blissful, euphoric... I was hooked...and I hadn't even touched a pole, yet!
There they were...long, gleaming, gold poles that reached floor to ceiling throughout the room. Though the medal they were made of weren't magnetic, they seemed to somehow pull me in. However, just as modern sky scrapers can be, they were towering, intimidating and seemingly insurmountable. I felt like a child that was slightly fearful, but very curious. I really wanted to just be able to jump on, crawl up and play with the big shiny things, but knew this would take some time. I started the clock when I learned my first trick, the "firefly". We were taught to hook our foot around the pole and fall into a spin that would send us flying around it. I couldn't get my head around the idea that I was supposed to fly but was told to fall. This seemed to sum up my entire experience of participating in this class. I had to trust myself and take a blind leap into the unknown to experience the exhilaration that resulted.
It has been 6 months since my toe first dipped into the pool of pole dancing and all things S Factor. I am pleased to report that I am now swimming safely in the deep end, diving off the diving board and throwing in an occasional cannonball (in S language that's doing a descending angel, snake and ballerina/pole bend)! I am by no means an expert but that gives me so much to look forward to. I don't believe this is a path that can ever reach an end.
I now belong to a community of women that are empowered and unapologetic about it. I am surrounded by ladies that support one another and acknowledge each other's beauty and magnificence. I am following my bliss by letting my soul, mind and body live in that space. I am making an impact on the world by living as an example of a female immersed in self acceptance. I choose to breathe and dance through this life with a perspective of love, gratitude and beauty because that is what S Factor has awakened me to.
Now when I watch a striptease, I am still in shock and awe but, only of the beauty and the power and the courage it takes to perform it. I can appreciate it fully because I know that each movement is a gift, a choice made, to carry on a conversation with anyone lucky enough to be in view. S Factor is truly a "movement" in every sense of the word. I believe, as with the generations of women who have danced before us, it is here to stay.
Some of my favorite pole-related sites:
www.sfactor.com
www.aerialamy.com
www.girlnextdoorshow.com
